Always Wear Socks in Flanoir
by Urby
Summary: And other handy travel tips!


Disclaimer: Madame Urbeh no owns ToS.

Inspired by life and my new house in Twain Harte where if you don't wear socks then the bathroom floor is really cold.

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**Always Wear Socks in Flanoir**

By Urby

Always wear socks in Flanoir.

Be careful, though, because the floor is always slippery.

'Sock skating' on the hallways is dangerous. (for the skatee and their victims)

Puppies and boys are cute, but both grow up to be dogs.

"I didn't do it" never cuts it.

Leave the kendama thingy to the expert.

Make sure you know the difference between the toothpaste and the foot cream in the morning.

Also, make sure you know which toothbrush is yours.

Three things that should never be shared: secrets, clothes, and chocolate.

Okay, there are exceptions to above rule, but keep your chocolate!

Be nice to your healers, because you never know when you need 'em.

Dying hurts like hell.

Raine can put together a broken body, but she can't put back together a scatterbrain.

Never underestimate Noishe!

Be nice to the ladies, they explode occasionally.

Girls just want to have fun (and eat a lot of chocolate)

Laugh at any joke, no matter how stupid, otherwise you might forget how.

Shut up and eat what's on your plate.

If you really, _really_ hate what's for dinner, you can point behind everyone and yell "A monster!", dump your stuff on someone else's plate while they're turned around, and hide.

Likewise, if you really, _really_ like what's for dinner, you can point behind everyone and yell "A monster!", gobble up someone's plate while they're turned around, and hide.

(The above maneuvers does not work very well at inns)

There are some things you don't bring up at the dinner table.

Or anywhere else!

Never say 'I'm tired'. We know you're tired. Everyone's tired. Saying so won't make anything better.

Boredom is the mother of invention, and it makes you juggle vegetables sometimes.

Radishes work a lot better than tomatoes when you're juggling.

Speaking of tomatoes, Kratos hates them, so give him a bunch!

Put makeup on people's faces while they're asleep.

(If you don't have makeup, a thick marker will do.)

Get a snuggle buddy, it makes cold nights a lot more bearable.

If you can't make a campfire with wood, use a spell instead.

Hair is very flammable (but it's not like we would know!)

Should you not have a sword in hand, a leek and a carrot work just as - well, actually, no.

Problems suck, so share them.

Rain is just an excuse to run outside in a swimsuit.

(Make sure it's warm rain)

Both rain and Raine can get you sick if you're not careful.

Sometimes all you need is a good cry, so keep an onion handy.

Never underestimate Colette's tripping power!

Penguinists make very good friends.

Wahu.

Don't sunbathe in Flanoir and don't make snow angels in Triet.

No one cares if you sing badly, since everyone else is just as horrible.

Don't gargle butter, no matter how bored you are.

Occasionally find the time to paint your nails. Pick a stupid color, like green.

Rules are stupid, just like problems!

Don't hog the bathroom!

(Whine.)

If you really want to annoy people, lounge on the stairs and take up all the room. Demand a password!

Chase butterflies. They won't chase themselves!

Smile. It'll cheer up people. And it'll drive all the others nuts.

Hug your loved ones, because you might not live to do so again.

If your face turns blue, it's generally a good time to lie down.

Cooking for eight is rather difficult.

A way to get around that is to make seven servings of a dish you know one person's not gonna eat.

Bugs are nasty, so goosh 'em!

(If you have to grab your weapon to goosh the bug, give up.)

If you're lost, remember that you can't get any more lost.

Scratch that, you can get _really_ lost.

Don't kick the slot machines in Altamira (the fines are outrageous)

Make sure the door is locked before you take a shower.

Read people's diaries (close them when you're done)

Walk in someone else's shoes, just to see how comfortable they are.

Sure, we may be angels, half-elves, or Violent Demonic Banshees, but deep down we're all just a bunch of people who get tired and need a break sometimes.

You're never alone.


End file.
